Thursday, December 10, 2015

Loving Love Motels

Expats living in South Korea sometimes joke that while Korea feels like 2020 technologically, it kind of feels like the 1950s in terms of relationships.  Most young people in South Korea still live with their parents and continue to do so until they get married – with the exception of living on campus for some university students.  While the number of people living alone is on the rise, single households still account for only 24% of households in Korea – and that includes English teachers and the elderly.  So if you’re dating (and you better be because if you’re still single at thirty YOU’RE GOING TO DIE ALONE) and still living with mom and dad, where do you have sex?* 

At the Love Motel!!!

All over South Korea, in every city, in practically every neighborhood, you can find a love motel (or twenty): a motel which was built with the express purpose of bangin’.  The rooms come with throwaway toothbrushes, condoms, super soft core porn on the telly (basically just a lady’s face moaning; sometimes there are boobs), shared toiletries, and black ropes hanging between the alley and the parking lot so you can’t see people get out of their cars and walk inside.  Many love motels have different fees for overnight stay versus the use of a room for a few hours.  And they can get super backed up.  In the more popular and modern motels on a Saturday night, it’s not uncommon to see a waiting area in the front lobby full of young couples waiting for people to finish sexing so they can use a room. 

You’d think these places would be kinda gross or disheveled with all those people coming (ha!) and going, but they’re actually pretty rad!  Every love motel room I’ve been in came with clean sheets, towels, and robes.  They all had huge flat screen TVs, a queen or king-sized bed, a mini-fridge with free bottled water, an electric kettle with free coffee and tea, a computer with internet / free WiFi, and a toilet with a heated seat.  How much do these rooms run, you ask?  They sound kind of expensive!  NOPE!  In a small town, you can get a room with a queen-sized bed and a large Jacuzzi tub for 60,000 won – about $50.  I stayed in one last weekend with a king-sized bed, a skylight that covered most of the ceiling with a retractable cover, a gigantic round hot tub, and a Finnish sauna for 80,000 won.  For real. 

I kind of think people should skip the temples and palaces and just come to South Korea for a sex vacation.  And the food.  Delicious food and sex in a hot tub!  What more do you want on vacation?  South Korea: Come for the grilled meat and fresh seafood; stay for the love.

That's a sauna next to the shower.  VIP room!


Green light special coming up...

Like that mirror above the bathtub?  There are lots of mirrors in love motels!




*Mom and dad, of course, would answer: You don’t.  You don’t have sex until marriage.  Did you know that roughly 1/3 of Koreans practice Christianity – evangelical Christianity?

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